Zip it, Negative Nancy!

I have been absent for a few weeks, and the reason for that is LIFE. Given that this is a lifestyle blog, I figured that I would discuss what has been going on...

For my entire life, I have been a super crafty person. I love doodling, painting, drawing, crafting, and all things that involve creativity (which propels my love of fashion and beauty). Throughout my life, I have given a generous amount of "art projects" to the people in my life, finding ANY opportunity at all to draw, paint, and create. I have done a few wine and paint nights, recreated my fair share of DIYs, and I even took on the (unexpectedly) large task of hand making most of my wedding decorations. Needless to say, a person only has so many projects they can do before their basement fills up, and it's no longer acceptable to give Grandma another Pinterest project.

A few months back, a co-worker of mine discovered my hidden talent of slightly above average sketching skills. At that time, he and some friends had decided to open up a medieval themed glow putt-putt and virtual reality business, and they needed some artwork done. He nonchalantly asked me if I could, you know, slap some knights, dragons, and princesses onto the walls. He then informed me that they had been working with professional artists on a pretty big project for the business, which sent up a big ol' red flag for me... 'Professionals? My work? Yeah, no thank you, sir.' I have this ability to allow crippling self-doubt to creep in at the most important moments of life. This was one of those times. I battled with the decision of whether or not to help my co-worker out, because I was so terrified to let him down and to prove my negative little shoulder devil right.

After thinking about this proposal for a bit, I decided that I was being ridiculous, and that I was not going to allow fear to control my life... again. Not so confidently, I agreed to help him out and put together some images. Now, I am not going to sit here and tell you that the images were completely original. I am not one of the gifted people that can chill in their space and a let their inner creative genius work its magic. I need HEAVY inspiration. I spent a few days searching Google images and deciding on a general idea of what I wanted my project to look like. Afterwards I spent SEVERAL weeks drawing, erasing, and re-drawing.

After I finally finished my sketches, we decided that the best method to transfer the images to the wall would be to project them, and then trace them. Let me tell you, this whole project, and the brainstorming behind it, really gave me a HUGE appreciation for people who do this on a regular basis. After spending an embarrassing amount of time fiddling around with the projector and realizing I know nothing about them, we finally got the images to show up on the wall. This was when I began tracing the outlines with chalk. Now, there were a few issues with this... remember when you were a kid and having to walk in front of a lit up projector? Instantaneous retinal damage! The other issue with this was the fact that I was tracing these images onto a block wall... this did not make for an easy task, especially since I was precariously perched on a ladder that certainly would fail every. single. safety guideline out there.

Let me tell you, after I finished tracing all five of my images, I felt like a damn superhero! That was probably the first time throughout the whole project that I felt like there might be a small chance of me actually pulling off this project. The next and final step was to trace over my chalk outlines with fluorescent paint. This definitely proved to be A LOT more tedious than I initially thought it would be. Again, the sketchy ladder did not help the ease of this task at all. After finishing my first image, which took two coats of paint, we hit it with the black light. Seeing that image in flaming color pumped me up!! I could not believe that I had created that, and that it had turned out better than I had ever imagined. Seeing that gave me so much more motivation to continue working, and I found that my self-doubt was basically non-existent.

After approximately a week, and 12 hours of painting, I finally finished the project. We immediately disconnected the lights and put a black light on the images to see what they would look like during business hours. For some reason, this moment was not as magical as seeing the first image, and I didn't have that Hallmark-worthy, tear jerking ending that I thought I would have. Seeing the project finished left me feeling drained, somber, and a little apathetic. I couldn't help but notice all of the mistakes that I had made, and I could not stop focusing on them. That's when I realized that this was the negative mindset trying to creep back in and sabotage a moment that should have been filled with happiness and humility. I had proven the negative part of my mind wrong, and I had ACTUALLY pulled off this project! My co-worker was extremely pleased with my work, and I had shown myself that I was capable of a lot more than I had given myself credit for.


After a few hours went by, the realization of what this project had done for me sunk it. This really wasn't about the art as much as it was a life lesson. Sure, the actual painting and creativity that went into it was a type of therapy that no money in the world could buy. On the other hand, this project taught me to start saying "yes" to life. So many times, I have missed out on great opportunities because of fear and self-doubt. I let those negative voices win, and this time... I had actually beat them! We are all so much more than we give ourselves credit for.

So, listen here, sister... if there is something, anything, in your life that you are scared to try or take a chance on... be like Nike, and JUST DO IT. I promise that it will be worth it. You deserve to believe in YOU, and you deserve to feel like a damn Superhero too!

xoxo