Resolution or No Resolution, That is the Question

Hey, guess what? It's 2020!! At the risk of sounding super cliche, we're going to talk about New Year's resolutions. The difference between this post and many others, however, is that I'm not going to ask you what your resolutions are, and I'm not going to tell you what mine are either.

For as long as I can remember, I have loved New Years. I have loved the feeling of having a blank slate to try and get my life together, and now I realize how completely naive that sounds. In the years past, I have made the typical resolutions for myself: start working out regularly, eat healthier, BE happier, yada, yada, yada. Every single year, to help keep me motivated, I would buy an agenda... and lots of stickers to decorate it with, to, you know, keep myself trendy, and every single year, I was discouraged before February 1st. Sometime in 2019, after making some serious progress toward a healthier mindset, I realized that my New Year's resolutions were forcing me to tackle too many things at once. Instead of focusing on one thing at a time, I wanted all of my resolutions to be fulfilled overnight, which left me feeling extremely overwhelmed and discouraged.

My unhealthy approach to each year's "fresh start" had led me to believe that a new year meant that it was possible to manifest into a completely new person, with traits that were handpicked by my current idea of perfectionism. "New year, new me!" The end of 2019 was probably the first year in as long as I can remember that I didn't spend a solid month planning my resolutions, and mapping out a foolproof game plan on how to achieve those goals (I mentioned my perfectionism, right?). Around December I realized that I really didn't feel like obsessing over 500,000 goals, and I began to realize that a new year did not equate to a "new me." In fact, the new year is simply about the "same me" continuing to grow and be better.

I will say, however, that this new year does feel different. We are not only entering into a new year, but a new decade as well. Since July of 2019, I have noticed that energetically... things feel good! I'm not sure if this is a universal shift in energy, if I sacrificed enough sage to the the appropriate life forces, or if my positive growth is allowing me to accept more positive energy into my life... but whatever the reason is, I love it! This feeling has been extremely motivating to me, and it makes me feel like no matter what, 2020 is going to be great.

The last weeks leading up to the new year, and even the first few days of 2020, I noticed that a lot of people were super quick to write off 2019. Due to their personal experiences, it wasn't a "good" year. Until 2019, that sounded like me every single year. When the first "bad" thing happened, I tended to blame everything around me for that negative experience. It was easier to say, "this year sucks, but next year is definitely going to be better," than to look at that negative experience and try to learn something from it. Throughout my short mental health journey, one of the most prominent lessons that I have been taught is that "life isn't happening to you, its happening for you." When I first heard this statement, I probably, not so discreetly, rolled my eyes in annoyance. As I have continued on my journey, this statement continues to manifest itself when I need a little reminder.

If 2019 wasn't your year, don't forget that you still made it through, and you still get to take with you all of your experiences, both good and bad, and the lessons those experiences taught you, into 2020. Now, with this said, I am not trying to minimize anyone's pain or suffering that may have occurred. I have experienced trauma, and no one gets to tell you the right way to handle it. Traumatic events are forced upon us without our consent, and they usually feel extremely unfair. But as much as you might not want to hear this, though you may not have control over the event itself, you do have control over how you let it affect you. One more thing that I have learned throughout my journey is that the universe is pretty big on lessons. If you don't learn what you're suppose to learn the first time you're tested, you can guarantee you will face that lesson again and again until you learn what you need to learn.

During this next year, don't be afraid to face the uncomfortable situations that will inevitably occur. Once you take the fear away, those situations won't have the same amount of control over you, and you'll be able to grow from them much easier. As for the good experiences that you're also bound to have, try to cherish every single moment. Just as much as the bad moments help us to grow, so do the good moments. So this year, and even the nine that follow it, instead of focusing so heavily on specific resolutions, try to naturally let the next 10 years happen for you, and try and remember to be present in each moment, and intentional with the choices you make.


xoxo